Big Ed's PlaceThe erotica author’s closet
This week I had the amusing experience of having one of my staff members at work talk about his attempts at writing fiction. He attempted the National Novel Writing Month a few years ago. He was also part of a support group that read and critiqued each others’ work and was apparently even based at our employer.
I had to really bite my tongue. Because I’m not ‘out of the closet’ about being an erotica author, particularly at work.
It’s hard sometimes. Writing can be a true passion at times, and I, and many erotica authors I know, have to bite our tongues and not admit what we do in our evenings and lunch hours. Heck, this past week I was scribbling away in a local restaurant and a different member of my team came in. I didn’t have my usual newspaper to use as a screen, so I found an excuse to leave before he could ask about my notebook. So I had a shortened lunch and writing period for the sake of maintaining some privacy.
But with my staff member, it was even harder. He was going on and on about how hard it was for him to write and how he struggled with plots and getting the words down. I could only nod my head. I just don’t know him well enough to tell him I write erotica and I’m not willing to let the chips fall where they may within my company. It’s just too conservative, with too many deeply Christian folks in upper management, for me to let my writing become company rumor.
But one of the things that makes writing less hard is having a community to commiserate with. My community is all online. Yes, there are a handful of people who know what I write in my daily life, but they’re not writers themselves and most don’t even bother to read my stories if I actually give them the url for this site. So to connect with someone in real life who does write and then have to be silent… it’s frustrating.
As a result, I’ve often thought I should publish a few mainstream stories, simply to have the cover. It’s easy to discuss writing without discussing what the actual project du jour is, particularly if I keep more than one going at a time.
The thing is–erotica is really where my interest and passion is. The gut pull is here and the obsessive gotta-get-it-out-of-my-head is here. Yes, there are some mainstream stories in my queue, but the erotica dominates. It’s what’s next.
And, unfortunately, that means not talking about writing. Perhaps some day I won’t have my livelihood depend on the opinions of those who don’t like my hobby. But until then…
…back in the closet.
I feel your pain, Ed. I’m partially out of the closet in that people at my work know I write, just not everything that I’ve written. Your co-worker is doing what he needs to do in working with other writers and getting his work critiqued. Those folks should be providing him with encouragement and advice. Hopefully good advice.
Since you can’t talk to him about the problems he struggles with, I suggest you point him at a writing podcast. Those generally have forums with folks that are happy to give thier thoughts in addition to having the podcast talking about those struggles as well.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t suggest the one I’m a co-host of: The Dead Robots’ Society (http://www.deadrobotssociety.com) first, but there are a couple of other good ones.
I Should Be Writing (http://isbw.murlafferty.com) and Writing Excuses (http://www.writingexcuses.com) come to mind.
Hope that helps.
Terry,
Good ideas. I actually think he’ll be fine in what he wants to do. Meanwhile, it does give me an itch to do a little more non-erotica so I’ve got a cover.
Ed