Comments on: Submission 24/7?

By: Living the Life | Big Ed's Place

Living the Life | Big Ed's Place — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 12:01:17 +0000

[...] the comments on my Submission 24/7 post, FG said, “the quickest way to ruin a fantasy is to think about it rationally,” which [...]

By: The Upper Floor (a kink.com site)–review | Big Ed's Place

The Upper Floor (a kink.com site)–review | Big Ed's Place — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 02:07:10 +0000

[...] dedicated to putting, on camera, an attempt to have a bdsm community that can live the 24/7 dream I posited was just an ideal. It’s the brainchild of Peter Acworth, the owner of Kink.com and other [...]

By: FG

FG — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 18:17:09 +0000

You are welcome for the links.

Yes submission is possible without sex and that is part of what makes it so very fun. I am glad that you are able to put things back together in a realistic fashion. That is why you are very good at what you do.

By: Big Ed

Big Ed — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 02:06:39 +0000

Your reply was neither harsh nor rambling.

One of the problems I ran into is that it’s really hard to tell in a play party who’s 24/7 and who’s just playing that night. It’s also something that wasn’t always a conversation topic. As you pointed out, there are a whole lot of variables involved. And yes, I know it’s not sex 24/7. But submission can occur even when it’s not sex.

As for thinking about it possibly ruining it–hey, that’s who I am. Fortunately, after I tear it apart, I can usually find a way of putting it back together again that’s at least semi-realistic.

I appreciate the blog links. They were fun.

By: Big Ed

Big Ed — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 12:36:28 +0000

I do think it’s different when it’s voluntary, but it could still be exhausting. I certainly found that when I Dommed, it left me tired in the end. Often just physically tired, because I had to be alert and attentive throughout the scene. Emotionally, it depended on how happy I was with how the scene had gone.

It could be interesting to explore further, in fiction, but I suspect there are others who would do it better than me and there’s so much in my queue…

By: FG

FG — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 13:27:53 +0000

If you want to see/understand the arguments from many perspectives you may want to post on FetLife be warned though as it gets ……….. interesting from time to time there.

A couple of blogs that are NSFW and examples of 24/7 situations:
http://underhishand.com
http://theheronclan.blogspot.com

It has been my observation that there tends to be a significant difference between those that play with it (BDSM) and those that live it. For those that live it by and large it is not about getting kicks 24/7 rather an expression of who/what they are.

As you should well know by now fantasies never live up to reality. The quickest way to ruin a fantasy is to think about it rationally which your last paragraph reflects. To be fair your first example of a sub while maybe common is an outlier in my personal data set as I have yet to meet one that could not take care of themself well (several personally).

I encourage you to watch the ending of Secretary again as it was not, from my perspective all about the sex or even the kink rather the connection finally cemented between the pair. The bug on the bed was her way of asking for what she “needed” which tells me that it was not a continuing (all the time) course of behavior.

“So what would it be like to truly live the lifestyle?” That depends on a whole lot of variables of who you are and who your partners are. As I alluded to above I highly doubt it would be sex 24/7. Saying that though, the probability of more sex is higher as least for the short term like any new relationship. Life has ways of enforcing a bit of balance in this and most other things.

Sorry if this was a bit rambly or harsh (not intended) needed to get it done before I forgot about it.

By: b.doom

b.doom — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 13:11:35 +0000

I do think it would be interesting to explore the problems inherent in such a dependent and demanding relationship. I’ve seen a couple stories do it — some quite well — but always in the context of something else. Typically, this something else involves a situation (trauma, obligation, etc.) that brings about the relationship.

I know when I had co-workers I had to lead about by the hand, that was exhausting, and that was only 8 hours a day. I know taking care of my mother while she was in chemo was hard on the whole family. I wonder (by wonder, I mean demand you write me a story, ’cause I’m entitled to it) what the ramifications would be when the relationship was voluntary.