Big Ed's Place

Okay, A Mall Tale has echoes of A Good Christmas. Sometimes the theme is just irresistable. At least this one is for me.

Nick Scipio forwarded me a Call for Submissions for an anthology on exhibitionism. This story popped into my mind and I loved the fact that the narrator was not your typical “young stud.” When I finished it, I realized it wasn’t suitable for the original Call, and so submitted it to Ruthie’s Club, where it was published in March 2009. With Ruthie’s closing, I thought I should republish it here.

I like the surprise in this story, and the audacity of the unnamed female lead. It also contributes to my hope that some day, if I’m really lucky, I too can see unexpected things at the mall…

The Price was a queue jumper that I just couldn’t resist. The central quote about how death is the price of sex is one that a friend told me over fifteen years ago and has stuck with me since. I imagined Sherri saying it and realized there had to be a story there.

Of course, there’s a little bit more than that. I wanted a story set slightly before The Ugly One with Sherri in it, as a bit of a link between it and Friends and Benefits. I also loved the idea of writing something “tight” that showed a battle of wits. I also enjoyed seeing what stories Sherri could tell that would sound outrageous and plausible at the same time.

This one took a long time to write. It was originally published at Ruthie’s Club in late May 2009 and is here now for your enjoyment.

I have a weakness for tall tales. I love their conspiratorial nature–the implicit agreement between storyteller and audience to stretch the bounds of willing suspension of disbelief far beyond the norm. I also love the way they wink at outrageous exaggerations and bad puns.

This story was inspired by a discussion of tall tales in a writer’s group. I came up with the title first, and let that kick around in my brain until I had the final pun. Then, as I thought about the spring, I realized that it was a great opportunity to turn a Greek Myth on its head in an erotic and fun fashion. I find the result to be whimsical and silly and all around fun. I hope you did too.

It’s been quite a ride.

This story started because I wanted to explore the concept of “friends with benefits” and particularly I wanted to explore that grey area between being clearly friends and being clearly lovers.  I’ve had a relationship like that, and several of my readers have commented that they, too, have had such relationships.

Once I’d picked that concept, the rest fell into place.  Some of it draws on my own experiences, though not to the extent that The Ugly One did.

When I realized I needed a catalyst for Joe’s growth, I immediately thought of Sherri, from The Ugly One.  Her philosophy and business plan are drawn from a tantrika (female tantra teacher) I’ve known socially, but am no longer in touch with. The tantrika believed in sacred prostitutes, and had intercourse with some of her male clients if she thought it would serve them, despite identifying as a lesbian.  I had her in mind when Sherri appeared in The Ugly One, and realized she was just too much fun to not expand into a major character.  Her mentor Susan is indeed from Nick Scipio’s Summer Camp, and the references herein are with permission.  I’m still having fun with Sherri, so look for her to appear in future stories.

The rest of the characters and the plot are the usual amalgam of pure fiction and past experiences, swirled together.  Pulling it all together was usually a joy, and sometimes quite challenging, particularly when real life intervened at times and forced me to slow down my writing.

My wife’s support was invaluable in getting through those times.  I wouldn’t be able to write what I do without her.  In addition, one of the things that helped keep me going was the supportive fan mail.  Thank you, everyone who wrote.  It’s been quite a ride, and one heckuva journey.

I composed Dr. Seuss Provides the Girls in a whimsical mood as a result of a poetry fest sponsored by Girl Friday. The story went on to win a 2004 Gold Clitoride award for Best Erotic Poem. Alas, Girl Friday’s retired, and the Gold Clitoride awards are no more (they were popularity awards run by volunteers and the load became too much), but I think the whimsy remains.

I’m particularly proud of two things in this poem besides the whimsy. First, I strictly held to the Dr. Seuss meter. Second, I never used the same word in a rhyme twice. Given the number of stanzas, I think those are both pretty cool accomplishments.

This one, unfortunately, requires some history. When I first started writing and posting my stories, the storiesonline site (run by Lazeez) had a different rating system than it does today. Readers could give a story a rating between 4 and 10 and, after 10 votes, the average score would be displayed. The top stories on the site held ratings above 9.6. Stories above 9.7 were extremely rare.

Part of this rarity was a phenomena where anonymous readers would slam stories in order to reduce their rank. It was common for a highly rated story to suddenly get a bunch of 4′s, knocking it out of the top 20. It was petty and silly, but a fact of life.

The other phenomena that several of us authors observed was that the codes seemed to affect the story as much as the quality. Mr. Freeze made the comment at the beginning of the story in an online discussion group, and the quirky idea for this story showed up in my brain. I released it to storiesonline in 2004. In classic ironic fashion, it quickly became my most downloaded single chapter story. Whether that’s the humor or the codes, I’ll never know.

For much of my early writing, I hung out in Girl Friday’s now-closed yahoo group. She announced an anniversary for the group, and asked for stories. I mused about what a non-traditional anniversary might look like, and this story was born.

When I saw the contest notice, my first reaction was, “too bad my sense of smell is so bad.” Then I realized there was a story in there.

Ruthie’s Club put out a call for submissions for Valentine’s Day flashes. This story showed up in my head instead. I found it fun, and so did they.

Part One of Friday the 13^th came to me in one of those inspired moments that people often attribute to Muses. I wrote the entire first part over lunch, on a Friday the 13^th in February. I just liked the idea of a ‘rewind’ type story (like are common on storiesonline.net) but thought having only a few hours in the rewind would just be amusingly nasty. It all came together when I realized what day it was.

Parts Two and Three came much later. I couldn’t get the idea of the story of Hector of Troy out of my mind, and decided that I need to add two more parts for the other two goddesses involved. Thus, the entire trilogy came into being.