Big Ed's PlaceRoommate Care
by Big Ed Magusson
The room spun when I opened my eyes. Despite the jackhammers in my skull, I forced myself to turn my head. Water and aspirin on the nightstand. Vomit bucket and towel on the floor. My roommate’s work.
I never wanted to move again, but the bladder had demands. I shuffled to the bathroom. There, I tried to think.
I remembered the early part of last night. Going to O’Neil’s Pub. Drinking green beer. Flirting with a redhead. Or was she a brunette?
I also recalled opening the apartment door to discover Ryan watching TV. There was a woman behind me, but… crap. I couldn’t remember the rest.
I glanced in the trash. Two used condoms. Well. That was encouraging.
I finished my business and lurched back to my room. Taking the aspirin, I noticed green fabric under the bed. A pair of panties that had definitely not been there before last night.
Ryan whistled in the kitchen. I trudged out and sank into a chair. He slid coffee and dry toast in front of me.
“You take good care of me, roomie,” I said, trying to crack a smile. “Thanks.”
He grinned. “No problem.”
“So… what happened last night?”
“You partied pretty hard.”
I nodded. “There’re green panties in my room. Who’d I bring home?”
“Oh. Erin was looking for those.”
“A redhead?”
“Yeah. Molly’s the brunette.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Damn. Both of them?”
He nodded.
“I wish I remembered it.”
He shrugged. “There’s not much to remember. As you were all getting undressed, well… you passed out.”
“Shit.” Then I furrowed my brow. “But… what about the condoms?”
Ryan grinned. “Well, last night you weren’t the only one I took care of, roomie. ”
I silently vowed to never drink again.